Pension Plan Puppets: The Life of Bryan

Every Leafs fan has an opinion. Here's mine: We are all Pension Plan Puppets. The Teachers pull the strings and we dance.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

The Life of Bryan

(Note: This is a submission written in the hopes of becoming the new Leafs commentator at The Battle of Ontario. Please go over there and support me. It is a nice piece of schadenfreude)

With the Senators in the midst of a 5-game losing streak and mired in mailaise since the beginning of the season the calls for the heads of John Muckler and Bryan Murray have become louder and more urgent. The case for Muckler's firing has been laid out pretty conclusively but why get rid of Murray? Well, mostly because his tenure has already peaked. sens fans have already lived the Bryan Murray Experience. All that is left is the inevitable firing.

Here, cherry-picked to prove a point, are the season's relevant to Senators fans:

1983-84: Washington Capitals 48-27-5 .631 Lost in Round 2

1984-85: Washington Capitals 46-25-9 .631 Lost in Round 1

1985-86: Washington Capitals 50-23-7 .669 Lost in Round 2

1991-92: Detroit Red Wings 43-25-12 .613 Lost in Round 2

1992-93: Detroit Red Wings 47-28-9 .613 Lost in Round 1

2005-06: Ottawa Senators 52-21-9 .689 Lost in Round 2

Those last three playoff exits are famous for their meeknes.

1991-92 saw the Wings cough up a 3-1 series lead to the San Jose Sharks.

1992-93 will be familiar to Leaf fans as Nikolai Borchevsky became a folk hero with a Game 7 OT winner (how is that clip NOT on YouTube?) after the Wings coughed up another 3-1 series lead.

2005-06 as everyone saw on TV ended as the team captain and top defenceman watched a 3rd line grinder skip past them both and score the series winner...shorthanded.

Six times Murray has coached a team to a plus-.600 winning percentage only to bow out meekly in the first or second round.

Muckler's failures are documented, Murray's shortcomings are evident, and the less said about the Senators players' mental toughness (see: Playoffs) the better.

The answer to the survey is secret answer e: Fire Muckler, Fire Murray, and make a trade for a proven leader.

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Blogger ninja said...

Dude, you get my vote. Though, having more than one Leafs contributor wouldn't be a bad thing either.

BoO is so much better now that it isn't just a Sens blog.

11:08 AM

Blogger Wardo said...

BoO is just an Ottawa blog that needs Toronto talent on their roster. They want the skill and moxie that only a Toronto presence can provide; does the penis-envy of that city ever end?!

If you join the blog over there, I'd save my best stuff for my own blog. Why waste it on those guys?

11:34 AM

Blogger PPP said...

Thanks Ninja, the site could definitely use more than one contributor but baby steps I guess.

Wardo - Thank God I had finished my coffee because your comment would have made me spit it all over the screen. Hilarious.

The best part about joining that site would be to needle sens fans. Sure it's easy but it's fun.

1:37 PM

Anonymous Nikolai Borschevksy said...

How is that clip not on Youtube?

Maybe it's because you spelled my name wrong. There's an "s" in it. My greatest play of all time is indeed available here.

Ouch. My spleen. Back to retirement

3:18 PM

Blogger PPP said...

Thanks for hunting it down Nik. You'll always be a hero in my book even though for some reason you are the one Maple Leaf whose name I have trouble spelling. I can even spell that scrubs Colaiacovo's name and he is no Nikolai.

Hope the spleen pain clears up. Enjoy retirement and thanks for the goal.

4:56 PM

Blogger ninja said...

speaking of retirement, will you still be posting here on the regular?

11:53 AM

Blogger PPP said...

Yeah Ninja, I am definitely going to maintain this site. You can only write so much mocking the sens.

I have a few things that I will be posting today to make up for my short work-search induced layoff.

11:58 AM


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